Life's Choices: Repaint or Remodel

At some point in our lives, we must all face the decision to repaint or remodel.  My bathroom was right out of the 1970's...long laminate counter with a single sink at one end and a built in dressing table at the other. Women haven't sat down at a dressing table since the 1950's! What to do? It was the old "lipstick on a pig" dilemma. No, the best thing I could do to put this dated room out of its misery was to gut it and start fresh. But did I really want the expense and the inconvenience of a remodel? It was, after all, only a bathroom.

How many times in life are we faced with the decision to make the best of a bad situation or cut our losses and start over? Many years ago, my husband and I had to make the difficult decision to pull up our roots and leave behind family and friends to start over.  We had worked long and hard to get to a certain point in our lives, but we had reached a dead end.  We were stuck and no longer moving forward. If we stayed, the future looked bleak and disappointing. We were up against a wall. But we were reluctant to give up everything we had worked for to start over.  It was a step backward in order to move forward. We knew what lay ahead if we stayed put, but starting over was full of unknowns. What if it didn't work out?  Would we ever regain what we stood to lose? What if the future was no better than the present?

We took the leap. It was difficult. I had to give up my dream home and move into a much older, smaller home. I had to pull my children away from familiar surroundings to start school among strangers. I wish I could say that making the decision was the hardest part, but it wasn't.  Starting over was full of disappointments and self doubt when things didn't go as smoothly as we had hoped. No one rushed to offer us jobs or welcome us to our new surroundings.  We were alone and lost. Money was tight.  The little extras we had taken for granted were now luxuries. Everyone had to cut back. We began to look backward with regret.

But there was no turning back. Bridges had been burnt.  There was no other choice but to move forward. So we did. And at times it was like walking a tightrope without a safety net.  Several years have passed since we made that decision and life has evened out.  We have been able to move past our "stuck" position and squeeze more out of life than we ever thought possible. There were casualties along the way...things lost that can never be regained...friendships that cooled and waned.  But in the end, the pain and inconvenience of starting over was well worth it. 

I've watched others in my life face similar decisions and my heart goes out to them.  In the beginning, it's all so exciting and life is full of promise. But there is also pain.I want them to know that the pain will pass and that if they keep focused on the future, things will eventually turn out for the best. 

So what's my point?  Roll up your sleeves and remodel that outdated bathroom!

Living in "the Zone"

Finding time to write is never easy.  I have recently returned to the workplace (part-time) and although the work is stimulating and rewarding, it does interfere with my writing. I sympathize with those who are holding down a full-time job, supporting a family and still trying to find time to write.  My hat goes off to you!

Writers are a strange breed.  It's sometimes easier for them to retreat into the fantasy worlds of their own creation and miss what's happening in the world they actually live in.  Sometimes I find myself so lost in thought that I am oblivious to conversations happening all around me   Other times I find myself looking at life from a distance as an observer instead of immersing myself in the activity of living the moment.  I don't like to be disturbed when I'm "in the zone". 

But I've matured...a nice way of saying I've gotten older...and priorities change. I'm spending more time with my grandchildren and I am amazed at how quickly they change.  I don't remember my own children changing so fast.  How did I miss those moments?  What else have I missed?

I wish life would give us "do-overs".  There are a few things I would do differently. For starters, I wouldn't take life so seriously.  I would laugh more and not dwell so long on past hurts. I would be more patient and understand that both children and adults go through phases in their lives when they need support, guidance and understanding and that the best course of action is not to judge, but to listen. However, to really listen one must be present in the situation...not just physically, but emotionally.  And that means leaving the "zone" and reentering the real world.  The fantasy world will always be there, but time in the real world is fleeting.  I don't want to miss another minute of it.

Loose Ends

It seems that I have spent my whole life tying up loose ends. Once I think I’m finished, I see something else that needs to be done before I can say that the job is complete.  This obsession with loose ends often impedes my ability to finish a task.  I find it difficult to walk away knowing there is something left undone.  I find myself constantly revisiting past projects to improve and make them better by tying up one more loose end.

On the other hand, I sometimes find that the amount of work required to tie up all those loose ends, is so daunting that it is easier to give up on a project rather than tackle the task.  I’ve never thought of myself as a quitter, but I admit that there have been times when I backed away from a job or even a promotion because there were so many unknowns and loose ends.  I was too discouraged to even begin!

But the old adage is true: “Every journey begins with a single step.” I took that step when I wrote and self-published my first book. I knew nothing of publishing and I was reluctant to turn the whole process over to someone else without knowing what I was getting into.  So I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and forced myself to take that first step. I asked questions.  I made mistakes. I learned.  I am by no means an expert, but I am no longer terrified.

Now I find that the more I know, the more I need to know…more loose ends!  It is so easy to get caught up in the details that I lose sight of the goal.  Lately, I have immersed myself in learning the ropes of marketing myself and my work. I have spent hours researching and building a following on social networks.  I have developed press releases and promoted myself at book signings and book clubs. As a result I have neglected the most important and joyous part of being a writer…writing!

After publishing my debut novel, I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking of ways to make it better. I’m trying to stay focused on my next project, but I am haunted by the loose ends from my previous work.  I know that at some point I will revisit it and republish a second, improved edition for no other reason than to bring some closure to those loose ends.

As I near the resolution of the plot for The Stone House Legacy, I am consumed by the amount of loose ends that I have left dangling. There are so many details that need to be flushed out and explained before this draft is complete that I have allowed myself to become paralyzed by inaction. The task is so overwhelming that I have been unable to move forward. I have even contemplated giving up on the whole idea.

I have come to this critical decision point so often in my life. Looking back, I see that there were many times when I gave up on something when taking a single step forward would have gotten me moving again. I believe I have a story to tell. I believe that it will not only be entertaining, but insightful. I believe that the story will not be told unless I tell it. I think I am ready to take that next step. Wish me luck!

What's the meaning of this?

You may be wondering where the title of this Blog came from since it's not really about school marms and cowboys.  It's actually more about relationships. I have always been fascinated by the unexplainable attraction between certain types of individuals.  Using my own family and acquaintances as the norm is, I know, an overgeneralization, but nevertheless, it bears consideration.  

The school marm is usually pictured as a woman teaching in a one-room schoolhouse. She is generally thought to adhere to severe arbitrary rules and be strict on those who failed to comply with those rules. She likes the power and control of being in charge. Hers is a no-nonsense world of rules and rituals.

It is said that a cowboy is not only defined by the work he does, but by the way he carries himself.  It is a culture of work ethics, not big talkers. Cowboys love nature and the natural world.  They want to die working…not working for money, working to make things better.  They love the land, the ranch and the plains.  They know it intimately.  Unfortunately, these characteristics do not always translate well in relationships. Early western movies portrayed the cowboy and his horse riding off into the distance and leaving the girl behind.  Why is that?  Perhaps it’s because women talk. They need verbal communication in a relationship, and cowboys love solitude silence.

So what is the attraction between these two seemingly opposite types of individuals? Is it simply a case of opposites attracting? I think not.  Beneath her tough exterior, the school marm harbors a deep seated desire to improve the world she lives in.  She sees education and the strict adherence to rules as a means to an end.  She is, after all, a dreamer…just like the cowboy.

The cowboy, on the other hand, lacks the ability to impose order on his chaotic world.  Deep down he knows that he cannot not succeed in making any significant changes to the world unless he understands and works within the rules that govern society. In a sense, he longs for order while at the same time, he is rebelling against it.

The same kind of push-pull attraction can be said to work for most relationships. What is it that attracts the charismatic leader to the shy, withdrawn individual?  More importantly, what sustains the relationship when theses opposite forces come into conflict as eventually they must?

And therein lies, the crux of the situation and the basic plot line for my writing. I like putting these characters in difficult situations to see which one rises to the top…which one takes control…and how this crisis changes their relationship.

Blog Tag: How I Write

Let's have some fun! 

If you're reading this blog and you like to write whether it be a diary, travel journal, blog, poetry, fiction or nonfiction, why not share your process with others by answering these four questions and pass it on! If you don't have a blog site of your own, then answer the questions right here in the comment section at the end of this one.  I'll post it for you!

What Am I Working On? I am currently at work on my second novel which will be the first in a series following the lives of the family of Simon Kingsley. This novel takes place in Indiana during the turbulent early years of the 1960's. A young minister and rising star on the evangelical stage takes a stand against civil injustice and brings the wrath of the John Birch Society down on his career and his family.

How Does My Writing Differ from Others of Its Genre? I write literary fiction set against the culture and isolationism of the Midwest.  I like to look at the present through the lens of the past to see what patterns emerge and what behaviors seem to repeat themselves through the generations. I'm working on finding a comfortable balance between internal and external conflicts so that the action of the plot does not get lost in the character's internal struggles.

Why Do I Write What I Do? I write to clarify my own thinking. I started this blog to explore my own past and discover some answers to questions that had haunted me throughout my life.  That part of the blog turned into my first novel, Windborne.  Now I write to discover ways to hone my craft. I use it to explore how characters might react in certain situations.  But most of all, I write because I love it!

How Does My Writing Process Work? I've written several blog pieces about this so I won't bore you with a rehash. The best way to describe my process is "gasps and spurts"! The story comes together in pieces like a jigsaw puzzle. I write and rewrite as I go along. It's like traversing a maze.  Sometimes I think I'm on the right track only to run into a dead end.  Then I have to back track and start over in a new direction.

There you have it! Your answers don't have to be lengthy or filled with intellectual insight.  Let's just have a conversation and see what happens. You can also reach me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/wandadehavenpyle  or Twitter at https://twitter.com/pyle_wanda.  I look forward to hearing from you!

The Language of Literature

What sets literary fiction apart from commercial fiction?  Is it the complex, literate, multilayered language?  Is it the relatability of universal dilemmas? The answer is “Yes!”

Among the arts, literature is unique in that it uses as its medium the language of everyday communication. One major difference is that literary language remains present in the reader’s mind in the form of stylistic questions or multiple interpretations in a way that everyday language does not.

This is not to say that literary fiction is all about the wording at the expense of the plot. In good literary fiction the characters must still face challenges and evolve just as they do in commercial fiction.  However, in literary fiction, the plot tends to be more subtle, often unfolding within the mind or emotions of the character. More often, in commercial fiction the plot involves continuous action. It is more about how a character interacts with events in the outside world. Thus, the reader becomes an observer rather than a participant who brings his or her own meaning to the work.

In Windborne, most of the plot is inferred by the choices the characters make. It requires a great deal of empathy to relate to the characters as humans and to deduce the hidden motivations and desires that lurk beneath their actions.  Things happen on the surface, but what is really important are the thoughts, desires and motivations of the characters as well as the underlying social and cultural threats that act upon them. The reader has to recognize the small tuning points as well as the highs and lows of the plot based on what they know of the characters.  They must bring their own experiences and knowledge of human nature into the work.  

In The Stone House Legacy, I am attempting to fold more action sequences into the inner life of the characters. The plot is more overt, but what happens out in the world isn’t as important as what happens within the minds of the characters. By using an Epilogue and Prologue to foreshadow the action of the plot I hope to refocus the reader’s attention on the characters’ inner struggle rather than how they defeat or are defeated by external forces.

The prose is pretty straightforward, but I am attempting to use more literary devices such as symbolism, allusion and imagery that will leave more room for interpretation. The plot points all relate to the inner mind and may be hidden in quiet moments and small, but powerful, revelations.  I realize that this may make it more challenging for the reader, but I believe it will be worth it!

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00GDJ9HTM

Preview: The Stone House Legacy

I'm often asked about my writing process.  When do I find time?  How do I discipline myself to sit down and put thoughts and ideas into words.  I know that most writers will tell you that they set aside a time period every day to write, but my mind doesn't work that way.  

I am a verbal processor.  I need to talk things through and actually hear my own thinking before I can write. So I tend to bore my friends and family with my ideas while I figure things out.  I find that the conversation stimulates my thinking and gives me a new perspective on the theme. I'm always rejuvenated and more motivated to write after these conversations. And the writing is better!

Therefore, I am asking for your help!  Posted below is a link to the first two chapters of my new novel. It is the story of a young minister who is a rising star on the evangelical stage in the early 1960's.  But when he challenges the violence and chaos of the times, he places his career and his family in grave danger. (Still working on the "elevator pitch", so could use some help here as well!)

Click on the link below to view the Preview and leave your feedback. I am especially interested in your reactions to the characters and the initial plot conflicts.  In other words, does it entice you to want to read further? Any help will be sincerely appreciated!  Thank you.

https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1147030