I live
in Southern California just a few miles from the site of the San Bernardino
shooting that took the lives of 14 innocent people. The news coverage of the shooting has
blanketed the headlines in large print, overshadowing all other events. It hits you like a cold slap in the face. “How
can this happen?” you ask yourself.
This is
the time of year for peace and goodwill. This is the celebration of light and
love. And yet tragedy happens. For many the approaching holiday does not bring
with it the joy and happiness that is advertised on television or in greeting
cards. The tragedy in San Bernardino brings
home to us the fact that even during this time of joy and renewal, people are
suffering loss and sadness. They may be facing a holiday after the death of a
loved one or after a divorce. Perhaps
they have been unable to have a child, or have suffered through an emotional
trauma. Or perhaps they feel pressured
and overwhelmed by holiday preparations. For them, the holiday is the most
difficult time of the year.
Who
doesn’t remember the sad strains of Elvis’s “Blue Christmas”? For many of us, the song is a melancholy
reminder of those who are gone or must face the holiday far from home or loved
ones. Most of us collect memories around
holidays and seasons. For those who have experienced loss or hardship, there is
a sense of absence during this time of year.
The memories are still there, but the human beings are missing or the
rituals have changed.
Across
the country churches and houses of worship are starting to recognize the need
for Blue Christmas services. These are
sometimes called the Longest Night services because they tend to be held around
the time of the winter solstice with the least amount of daylight of the year. On this night, we remember those for whom the
holidays are not joyful; they are lonely, in mourning, feeling alienated and
cast apart from family celebrations.
They are experiencing depression and sadness and yet are often compelled
to “put on a happy face” for others, denying their true feelings. On the
surface, they go through the motions.
They put on a smile and pretend all is well. They may even attend a holiday party, but
their heart is not in it.
These
services provide an uplifting experience to remind us of the love we had for
those who are no longer with us. They also provide a time to show support for
those who are grieving or just a time to escape the stress and
commercialization of the holiday. It’s a way to celebrate quietly with a focus
on light and warmth and comfort. Such services
are reflective, accepting where we really are, and holding out healing and
hope. They remind us that even though it
is a dark and difficult time, there is always light.
I urge
you to remember those for whom this holiday is not a joyful time and reach out
to them with hope and understanding. Be
the candle that helps to light their way out of the darkness.
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